will I ever be yours

.Saturday, February 11, 2006 Y

haiz... things started out on a bad day when things dun go right for me yesterday....
haiz... but as the day went by my anxiety too rose to the climax... haiz.... den after school it was raining heavily and tried to wake to the bus stop without getting wet even with umbrella we still got wet... when we reached the maris stella bus stop there were many cars at the bus stop due to the INCONSIDERATE parents of the boys from maris stella... the bus couldn't stop at its designated place so was quite far out and sure will get wet one... den finally the 93 came and managed to come in a little bit and the INCONSIDERATE parents horned at those who wanted to board the bus so that they can move and fetch their "BABIES"... why izzit that other people can get wet while theirs can't wait a lil longer, its not as if their sons will disappear suddenly and could not be found or that they will kick up a big fuss for coming to fetch them a little late right.. so they should give priorities to those that need to take the bus, they too wants to get home faster and not get caught in the rain or something but due to their inconsidateness the people still got wet....

finally managed to catch the next 93 and goodness it was alr 1.50 and need to be in school by 2.30 sure will we late... den we took till after the comfort delgro and took a cab to school, dropped rachel first den to our school....
when we reached there we had to proceed to the dance studio by the time we reached there miss tan was alr saying prayers, i think we missed out quite a bit but was in time for the results.. haiz.... my tears flowed automatically and my face was filled with it... i got 25 for my L1R5 and was very disappointed in myself and i think i let my parents, my aunts, uncles, and most of all myself....i know they tell me i have tried my best but still.... i know that when they say that it doesn't really mean it coz they just dun want to upset me further... but when i went home not only did they not scold me but encouraged me... and when i watced tv they kept announcing and showing the parts where people were jumping up and down and were smilling from ear to ear and tears of joy flowed but mine was the opposite.... i'm just very disppointed in myself and i know that no is to be blamed but MYSELF. its soley all my fault.....
although i have received many consolation from my seniors in MI and also Niva, including the teachers in IJ.. wothout u all present i might just do something silly... has thanks to serene for talking to me on the fone on my home if not i would just be crying non stop.. although it has been more den 12 hours my tears are flowing down my cheeks right now.... can't stop thinking about it...
dear god pls give me the guidance to help me choose the right course and would not regret it.....

waiting for you right here
2/11/2006 12:26:00 PM